SLEDDING AND SELLING OUT
26 February 2010, Helsinki
I've always loved pre-opening lunches. Yesterday, I checked in the Riiko Sakkinen Suite (where I painted a cup noodle robot on the wall last year) of Hotel Klaus K, read few pages of the novel 20 Fragments of a Ravenous Youth by Xiaolu Guo while waiting Jani. Then we went downstairs to Toscanini, ordered pasta, some Italian spicy sausages and wine and told to Jaana about our friendship for an article she writes about us for a newspaper. It was a prefect way to charge my ego with self-esteem before the inauguration of My Favorite Lists at Korjaamo, where we cabbed through the snowy and bumpy streets of Helsinki and I was about to throw up for the hangover Krista's dinner had caused me the night before.
It was nice to see my show because I had been partying and sledding the whole week and didn't spend too much time in the gallery before the opening day. It's better to let the professionals to hang the work when I don't have to do murals or installations. The choreography of the opening was normal until Janne arrived. He said that he couldn't stay more than three minutes, because his wife and kids where waiting in the car, but it was enough time for him to buy all the 22 list drawings for the Helsinki Art Museum.
After the dinner party Jani packed our friends in a minibus and we drove back to the Riiko Sakkinen suite. Sometimes, I feel that I can't complain too much. How many artists can organize an afterparty in a hotel suite they've painted?
THE UNREAL QUALITY OF OUR EVERYDAY LIFE
20 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
I went to Arco art fair in Madrid, though I'm not a fan of the art market. Always after visiting art fairs, I feel that I don't want to be artist anymore. This time the reason to was Manuela who asked me to go to a presentation of Archivo de Creadores, which is a project of Matadero and houses fancy portfolios of 100 artists linked to Madrid, and strangely I'm included. The event was called meeting with curators but it consisted mainly about fighting in the line to get mojitos. I sat down in a corner on the carpet and finished Zizek's book. The best thing was that I got a phone call and was told that finally my new golden Chevy was ready to drive.
Today, I have have to wax the new car, learn to use the cruise control, navigator, parking radar and all the other gadgets and then teach them to my wife. She's going to use the car while I take our daughter to Helsinki, where I do a solo show called My Favorite Lists at Korjaamo. I liked a lot the list that Timo wrote about my lists:
1. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists reveal the unreal quality of our everyday life – regardless of the things listed being real or not.
2. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists are conceptual art but they target their irony not towards institutions of art but to the structures of our society.
3. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists would be funny if they weren’t true. They are true also when they are thoroughly fictional.
4. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists tell about our desire to take over the world. In the same time revealing the hopelesness of our attempts. The lists have no end in sight.
5. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists are drawings. They can also be perceived as images.
6. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists are born independent from each other as a result of free association. Often they do consist of carefully researched, studied and organised material.
7. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists are not haphazard. Also, there is nothing haphazard in this exhibition of Riiko’s lists.
8. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists use the language the world uses. If we don’t accept what he talks about then we don’t accept the world.
9. Riiko Sakkinen’s lists are provocation. They challenge us to think the structures of our society and the inequality of people.
16 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
My wife is my best and toughest critic. She doesn't come to my studio every day but when she does, she sees exactly what is good and what is bullshit and any nonsense explications can't trick her.
The last weeks, after finishing the series of list drawings, I've been working on the series of large scale drawings that will be exhibited at Galeria Gacma in Malaga in May. My wife came to give her judgment and said that they need more work. I replied that I don't know how to do it, that it's beyond my technical skills. She promised to finish my drawings if I clean the old bodega which we use as a storage.
Now the bodega is clean and ordered and my wife told that when I come back from my trips to Helsinki and Oslo my mediocre works have turned out masterpieces.
URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL
14 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
I am the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Africa Development Bank (ADB), Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, West Africa.
We discovered an abandoned sum of USD $20M (TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in a plane crashed near Paris on the 25th of July 2000.
Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because the bank cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as it was indicated in our banking guideline and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crashed leaving nobody behind for the claim.
It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you so that you can stand as the beneficiary to the deceased customer and to enable the bank to release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased customer for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill because the banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after nine years that is almost near, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund.
The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner, and I agree that 45% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foreign account, 5% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 50% would be for me, thereafter,
I will visit Your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated. Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to your designated bank account, you must apply first to the bank as a relation or next of kin of the deceased with a text of application that I will send to you, so I will like you to send to me your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication between each other and also about the location where the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application that you will use in claiming the money as the beneficiary to the deceased customer.
I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Mr. Riiko Sakkinen
ROSSO CORSA GENOCIDE
10 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
I'm drawing ketchup. Ketchup is as red as the Khmer Rouge. And my Ferrari is as red as my ideology. Though I don't have a Cavallino Rampante and maybe I neither have an ideology. I'm reading Slavoj Žižek and after every page he writes, I have to rethink everything I believe in. Maybe I'm never going to have a rosso corsa colored sports car but while I draw I think about my new golden Chevrolet Cruze that I hope to drive before the weekend.
Anyhoo, I'm drawing Holomodor, Holocaust, Srebrenica and other genocides, democides and politicides - everything covered with a thick layer of delicious tomato ketchup - while my daughter is watching Tom and Jerry.
Jerry receives a knife from his buddy and places it in Tom's hands. Jerry splatters ketchup on Tom's chest and on the knife and tugs on the rope in order to be reeled in. Tom wakes up, screams and runs backwards into a wall, thinking that he has stabbed himself. He grabs his chest and some of the ketchup is on his hand. Thinking that it is blood, Tom screams again, inflates himself and lets himself float through the house. As Tom bounces on the ceiling, he spots the ketchup bottle. He tastes the "blood" and finds it is ketchup.
I'LL DRIVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE
07 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
I was supposed to be professional and invest my money - after selling few drawings to Kiasma Museum of Contemporary Art - in my business and order some wooden bases from the carpenter, buy paints and other materials but I think that I can't do that in the very near future - I spent all my money (and a big amount of the future income) on a new golden Chevrolet Cruce LT 2.0 VCDi MT with 150 hp and 17' alloy wheels.
Chevy is an American General Motors brand but founded originally by European Louis Chevrolet and my Cruze is made at the GM manufacturing plant in Bupyeong-gu, Incheon. I trust in everything Korean. Now I'm finally fixing my teeth and my dental braces will be soon installed by my super cute Korean dentist. It's enough to have my teeth lined up, everything doesn't have to be golden like my new car that I'll drive in few days.
And they were singing,
Bye-bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singing, this will be the day that I die.
MY FAVORITE COLAS
04 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
I'm drawing the big work on paper Eden Club Torremolinos, and smaller Execution of Chemical Ali, Pump and Dumb Tonight, Macht, My Ideology Is As Red As My Ferrari and Pirates in Your Paradise. The last list drawing I did for my show at Korjaamo was My Favorite Colas. It has the taste of freedom, whatever it is.
A-Treat Cola, Adria Cola, Afri-Cola, Alef Cola, Alter Cola, American Cola, Amrat Cola, Apotekarnes Cola, Baikal (this was originally the Soviet rival or substitute for Coke), Barr Cola, Beed Cola, Big 8 Cola, Big Cola, Big K Cola, Blue Sky Cola, Bob’s Cola, Boylan, Bovonto, Breizh Cola, Bubba Cola, Campa Cola, Carrefour Gold Cola, Casera Cola, Cassinelli, Cavan Cola, Celeste Cola, China Cola (the export variant of Future Cola) , Classic Cola, Club Cola, Coca-Cola, Cockta, Cola Cola, Cola Lacaye, Cola Turka, Cole Cold, Corsica Cola , Count Cola , Cricket Cola, Cuba Cola, D’Africa Cola, Double Cola, El Che Cola, Euro Shopper Cola, Evoca Cola, Export Cola, Fada Cola, Faygo Cola, Freeway Cola, Frescolita, Fritz-kola, Fruti Kola, Fuji-Cola, Future Cola (Future will be better), Go2 Cola, Goya Cola Champagne (this is my absolute favorite brand though it doesn't contain any champagne or other alcoholic beverage), Harboe Cola, Hermann-Kola, Inca Kola, Isaac Kola, Jaz Cola, Johnnie Ryan Cola, Jolly Cola, Jolt Cola, Jones Cola, Kawther Cola, Kiri Cola, Kitty Cola (Hello Kitty must have a cola), Kofola, Kola Inglesa, Kola Real, Kola Román, Kola Shaler, Kristal Kola, LA Ice Cola, Latin Cola, Le Cola (best with le BigMac), Like Cola, Mecca Cola, Mr. Cola, MyCola, OK Cola, Olvi Cola, Open Cola, Quick Cola, Parsi Cola, Peru Cola, Pakola, Parsi Cola, Pepsi Cola, Pirkka Cola, Polo-Cockta, Pop Cola, Premium Cola, Quibla Cola, Rally Cola, Rainbow Cola, RC Cola, Red Cola, Red Bull Cola, Red Rock Cola, Rio Cola, Rola Cola, Safeway Select Cola, Sam’s Choice Cola, Schin Cola, Schweppes Cola, Shasta Cola, Sinalco Cola, Star Cola, Super Drink, Swiss Cola, Tab, Teem Cola, Thums Up, Triple Cola, Tropicola, TuKola, Ubuntu Cola, Uro Cola, Vess Cola, Virgin Cola, Vita-Cola, White Rock Cola, XL Cola, Zam Zam Cola, Zelal Cola, Zesto Cola, Zevia Natural Cola.
THE BEST CAKES FOR PIEING BIG SHOTS
01 February 2010, Cervera de los Montes
All-American Trifle, Angel Food Cake, Apple Cake, Babka, Bánh Chuối, Banbury Cake. Battenberg Cake, Bebinca, Birthday Cake, Black Cake, Black Forest Cake, Bolo Rei, Bucellato, Butterfly Cake, Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake, Cassata, Castella, Chiffon Cake, Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Cake, Christmas Cake, Coffee Cake, Croquembouche, Čupavci, Dacquoise, Depression Cake, Devil's Food Cake, Dirt Cake, Doberge Cake, Dobos Torte, Double Layer Pumpkin Cheesecake, Easy Bunny Cake, Egg Tart, Eggies, Fairy Cake, Fruitcake, Garash cake, Gâteau Progrès, Génoise Cake, Gugelhupf, Heavy Cake, Hot Milk Cake, Imagawayaki, Irish Cream Bundt Cake, Is It Really Better Than Sex? Cake, Kolache, Linzer Torte, Madeleine, Marble Cake, Marry Girl Cake, Mooncake, Mud Cake, Napoleon Torte, Ostkaka, Pandan Cake, Paska, Pastiera, Pavlova, Petits Fours, Piece of Cake, Pinca, Pineapple Upside Down Cake, Princess Cake, Prinzregententorte, Profiterole, Pund Cake, Queen Elisabeth Cake, Raspberry Custard Kuchen, Red Bean Cake, Red Velvet Cake, Rigo Jancsi, Roscon de Reyes, Runeberg Cake, Sachertorte, Šakotis, Sfouf, Sno Balls, Song Gao, Southern Style Banana Split Cake, Spanische Windtorte, Sponge Cake, St. Honoré Cake, Strawberry Shortcake, Suncake, Tarta de Santiago, Tarte Tatin, Tiramisu, Tres Leches Cake, Torta Tre Monti, Vanilla Slice, Wacky Cake, Wedding Cake, White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake, Whoopie Pies, Wife Cake, Zwieback Cake.