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Vip Lines - Champagne


29 September 2006, Helsinki

Eat & Joy opening party was yesterday at Hotel Kämp. It's the most expensive hotel in Helsinki but rather cheap in the style. It was supposed to be some kind of a VIP party but they had invited too many celebrities. I had to line up for drinks, line up for food and line up to the rest room. After the party of this fine dine restaurant event I was hungry and  went to McDonald's, where was no line and the girl serving me the burger had a beautiful smile.

Manginas - The Breakfast Of Champions


28 September 2006, Helsinki

 I got this Mikko Ijäs' Manginas from Jani's art supermarket. I exchanged it to an abstract painting of mine. I had no idea what is a mangina: it is formed when a man takes his genetalia and tucks them between his legs, leaving an empty area where his penis would otherwise be. It also can mean anus of the male when used for receptive sexual intercourse.

I dropped Pablo Picasso from my dream team for Mikko Ijäs.

100 Signatures - Scandinavian Flavored E-men Noodles


26 September 2006, Helsinki

Today, I signed 100 art works visibly on the picture side. That was the very first time I've done it after writing my name with clumsy letters on elementary school drawings.

This signing session was the reason for flying to Helsinki. I made a silk screen piece, edition of 100, for Eat & Joy restaurant event. I wanted to write there Eat & Vomit but Eeris thought that Eat & Joy sounds better, it's a kind of semi commercial work. The signing was fun, I felt like some Warhol or Picasso.

Then I went shopping and bought CDs. I think nobody else buys anymore them. I still have no idea how to download music from the internet. I got Charlotte Gainsbourg's 5:55 and James Dean Bradfield's The Great Western.

And the best thing today: Raúl goaled twice for Real Madrid in the game against Dynamo Kiev. I love the way he kisses the conceptual wedding ring (you can't wear rings when palying football) when he celebrates a goal dedicating it always to his family.

Silicone Happiness - Silicone


23 September 2006, Cervera de los Montes

I have almost everything what an average thirty-year-old man can ask: a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, a big house and a good car. My daughter is sleeping and my wife is cooking dinner. After the dinner we’ll watch Woody Allen’s Husbands and Wives on DVD. I was always sure to show my stuff in an important biennale before tur ning thirty but now my goal is to do that before I turn forty.

We have a big old house, it’s at least 100 years old but I believe it was originally constructed by the Moors. The house needs fixing all the time. We had workers to do the huge reform one year ago. They loved silicone. They used it in every place for all purposes. I think they’d construct entire houses of silicone. When the workers finished, I spent two weeks tearing off the silico ne strips and replacing it with cement. I like cement, it’s solid.

Today, I used silicone for the first time in my life. When it was raining hard, the water got in from our library window. The water damaged Taschen’s Art Now Volume II. I sealed the window with silicone. Cement doesn’t serve for that. Surprisingly, I kind of liked silicone and I applied it to a big painting I’m working with.

Gipsies, Chinks And Faggots - We Hate

Gipsies, Chinks and Faggots

20 September 2006, Cervera de los Montes

Orlando asked me to do immigration related work for Muestra de Arte and now I’m working with hate list drawings. I just think whom my brother-in-law hates. He’s a normal rural conservative Spaniard and he detests Gipsies, Chinks, Faggots, Niggers, Sandniggers, Reds, Greens, Russians, Belarusians, Transvestites, Pacifists, Atheists, Wetbacks… everybody who's not Spanish heterosexual catholic.

I landed first time in Spain in 1998, before the massive immigration, what they call now an avalanche. That time I was treated as a wealthy tourist from the North. Now they treat me as an illegal immigrant from the East. Before I was Dutch, British or Swedish. Now I'm Russian, Ukranian or Romanian. Now blondes are ncluded in the hate list, too.

Goooool - Champions


17 September 2006, Cervera de los Montes

Fernando Morientes is from Sonseca, a village in our province. He is my favorite football player. I can’t understand why Real Madrid sold him. He formed a great attack squad with Raúl. Now Raúl is supposed to open spaces for Ronaldo or van Nistelrooy and he is a shadow of what he used to be.

This season Morientes plays for Valencia and he scores every Sunday like a real star, tonight against Getafe.

Hot Hot Dogs And Big Big Macs - Working Time Required To Buy A Big Mac


15 September 2006, Cervera de los Montes

Bert phoned. It seems that for the first time my drawings are selling like fresh bread or hot hot dogs. They have even sold a conceptual drawing Working Time in Minutes Required to Buy a Big Mac. But I've learnt not to open a Moët & Chandon before I've got the cash.

Children And Shop Keepers - Isidro Blasco: O's Room I


14 September 2006, Madrid

I drove with my wife and daughter this afternoon to Madrid for Isidro Blasco's opening at Galería Fúcares. The gallerist told to my wife that he doesn't like kids in his gallery. I think my wife called him a shop keeper.

Anyways, Isidro's show was pretty, as always.

Dogs Are Everywhere - Snoopy

Dogs are everywhere

12 September 2006, Cervera de los Montes

I never really liked dogs. My parents have a cockerspaniel and I worked with him in one installation. Now I have a dog house sculpture in my exhibition.

I came back home from Belgium yesterday. At Brussels airport I bought Fisher-Price Lil' Snoopy toy for my daughter. The package says Pull me along - I'll turn my head & wiggle my ears! I'll shake tail & bark! I wanna be your dog, sings Iggy Pop. For my wife I bought Godiva chocolate.

It's awesome to be home. I'm not an adventurer. I like being home.

Duvels In My Head - Dog House


10 September 2006, Mechelen

I woke up at 11.30 with a light hang over. I had too many Duvels last night with Herman in Gouden Vis. We talked about politics. He said that Europe is dead. I asked his advice if I should go to Japan for a residency where I 've been invited for three months this winter. He said I should go. I think I go and consider myself immigrant worker, not artist in residence. I'm afraid that my daughter doesn't learn to speak Finnish if I'm not around.

Jenny is watching tv and drinking champagne. Bert is digging in the garden. Skilift is sleeping on my lap. The opening party here at Transit begins in two hours but it feels more like a lazy Sunday.